Gabbar – Osteofighter!

Thank you all for your kind thoughts, support and prayers. We cremated Gabbar yesterday evening. We are going to collect his ashes this morning and will hold on to them as we heal. In a couple of months, we will travel south of India to Chennai, the city of his birth and where he grew up most of his life. There is a beach behind the Dune Resort on the outskirts, just before the city of Pondicherry. It was his favourite place in the world. He would be scared of the waves, but refuse to leave the shore. He would run along the shoreline keeping JUST a safe distance from the waves and get scandalized when he would get wet. Suzy and him would then play in the sand to the point where their muscles would get so sore, they wouldn’t be able to get up for the next 2 days. We hope to make our way back there and scatter his ashes into the ocean from that beach.

In the meantime, Suzy has taken over the role being our hero, saviour, emotional pillar of strength. She’s of course feeling his void, but showing us that life must go on. She’s keeping us on our toes and makes sure nothing changes. I have to still wake up at 6am and take her for a long walk. I have to still get back and prepare the morning meal and feed. The only difference is that Gabbar now accompanies us in spirit instead of body.

My wife has been feeling since we got home last evening from the cremation that Gabbar is reaching out to us through Suzy. I too have been noticing certain behaviour in Suzy that is more characteristic of Gabbar than her. While going on a walk, Gabbar would turn back every 10 feet or so to just make sure me and his mom were behind him. Suzy suddenly started doing that yesterday. She’s not one to cuddle up for more than 5-6 seconds. She’s often like a cat. A quick hello and then gets on with her day. But like Gabbar, she’s been following us where we go, keeping close, keeping in physical contact a lot more than she used to.

When Suzy picks up a toy that’s lying around, she ALWAYS brings it back and keeps it right beside her, just in case Gabbar would steal it. This morning, I noticed one of Gabbar’s toys lying around. A pink little squeaky. This was a good 20 feet away from the kitchen around the wall. I thought fleetingly about how Gabbar used to trot around in the mornings holding it in his mouth as I prepared their food. So I noticed this toy, left it there, came back into the kitchen, put a few eggs to boil on the stove, turned around. And there, just outside the kitchen where his rug still is, was the toy. Carefully placed on his rug. Suzy was lying down in another corner far from it. All this happened in a span of 15-20 seconds. Maybe I’m reading too much into it. Or maybe Suzy picked it up and gave it to him. She can feel him more than we can. It was a sign. He’s here.